All my life I’ve felt different.

Like I am an alien from another planet. I didn’t get along with other kids and preferred living in my own world. A world of creativity, writing, painting, crafting and playing music. I was told that it is very important to have good grades so I can land a good job later, and I was very intelligent, yet I could not find my place in this world. I tried to hide my sensitivities and just be like everyone else. It all failed and I became very ill. I was dealing with a lot of issues, like anxiety, depression, health issues. I pursued a degree in Fine Arts. 

Later I learnt about C-PTSD, so complex trauma, which is living through many traumatic experiences over a long period of time. Just recently I found out I have autism as well, so I am part of the neurodivergent folks. A strange recognition and also a sense of relief to finally understand myself on a human level.

My life has been extremely challenging in many ways, going from one to the next difficult situation. But this also fuelled my desire to find the end of suffering. And so I started to pursue spirituality, because I didn’t find any satisfying answers elsewhere. 

My life story is a wild mix of traveling through Europe, living in New Zealand, being married, being a musician, a drum painting artist, to losing everything I’ve had and moving into being nobody. I enjoy expressing myself on Youtube and it is my desire to support other people who are suffering. And perhaps I can do that just by being and sharing myself. 

So I am still walking this path, still going through this journey of embodying wholeness. Where it will lead, I don’t know. I just follow the nudges moment to moment in the eternal now, and see what shows up in my life.